so they’ve brought out different women barbie dolls, but what about the men ?

I know this person that is covertly intelligent and wise, but he hides it under an exterior of humour and laddish behaviour, and this is fucking brilliant but incredibly sad and representative of how much pressure society places on men  .

I think that he is a representation of all boys really, they want to come out with all of this deep stuff but refrain for fear of looking weak, and its a shame that this male culture exists where guys cannot feel like they can be emotionally in touch with their feelings or in other words “moist” because of what that would reflect on them after . It is universally known that society has this view that women are constantly oppressed and a lot of pressure is put on them to behave and even be a certain way bla bla bla. ” Women believe that all the pressure from society is on them, but it is also on males”

Men have the same pressures that women face, but it is just in a different form, they are pressured to be masculine, manly, and are told to “be a man” and “grow some balls” which in itself is pretty damaging considering the shit that they have to deal with, especially in adolescence. It is a shame that they cannot feel that they can express themselves in a safe way without fear of being labelled as a “girl” which actually I believe is a massive compliment because girls bleed out of their vagina every month and are capable of reproduction, which if you think about it, takes a lot.

It seems that because of media influence and peer pressure they also feel that they have to look a certain way, gaining muscle, having a six pack, and pecs etc and down to this reason Body dysmorphia and distorted self perception arises. But listen up lads, you are all brilliant the way you are, it is your imperfections and ability to express how you feel that makes you fantastic.

Of course there is the other argument that suggests that guys want to go to the gym constantly, and groom themselves to perfection just for the benefit of themselves which is the way it should be, but seriously don’t ever feel intimidated or inferior to something that you perceive to be a “better image” because its bullshit and you are fine just the way you are.

you should go and love yourself

No, really you should. And Im  probably the biggest hipocrite of them all because this is one of those concepts that I really struggle with. Sometimes I find myself sinking into self worthlessness patterns where I don’t believe that I’m good enough for that dinner brought for me, or even worthy enough for that glass of wine kindly purchased. But you are so worth that and a million times more.

This is for all of the girls that struggle to love what they see in the mirror, you’re definitely not alone, sometimes I find it difficult to look past the love handles and stretch marks on my body and I forget that the inside is what matters most.

Someone could be so aesthetically pleasing to the eye but have such a sour personality, and this is the most important thing, you give off what you exert. If you exert kindness, you will automatically exert beauty. If you show ugliness on the inside, this is what the world will see.

so yeah basically listen to Justin Bieber when he tells you to go and love yourself.

 

19 going on 40?

Knowing quite a few people in their early 20s, it strikes me that nobody really knows what the fuck they are doing with their lives, which actually is pretty comforting considering we are now all in this deflating life raft together.

But we won’t drown… our parents didn’t drown, nor did our grandparents and so forth. Sure we may be faced with another four or so years of a shit government, and minimum wage will rise 0.001 Percent every two years, student loans spell out impending doom and house prices are there to show us at every opportunity how crappy this capitalist society really is for someone struggling to make ends meet. But in the words of good old Barack Obama, YES WE CAN.

We will survive. In 20 years or so, most of us (hopefully) will have a decently paid job, a home, maybe even a few kids and perhaps a spouse. Its not over for us, although at this second it feels like the occasional pint or a casual one night stand may be all we have right now, it will not be that way forever. Life doesn’t even last forever.

The point is guys, and Lord strike me down for ever attempting to quote a boyband, but seriously “Live while were young” even if that means taking pleasure from the taste of cheap beer, or an extortionately priced Chinese takeaway, try not to worry about what you’re not accomplishing now and try and be happy about all the things you are, better things will be coming your way.

 

 

Slut, Slag, Frigid, Loose, Tease, Bitch, Feminazi,Loud.

Growing up, I have constantly been told to cherish my body, treat it like a sacred temple. For my mum this translates into “eating healthy”. Ha. As if Im going to start eating avocado and kale on a daily basis. how stressful.

But it also translates into something else. The idea that I have to conform to society’s idea of a “good girl”. The idea that I as a female am meant to be “non slutty” and “chaste”  because of course if not that equals trash right?

Wrong, Im sick of hearing things like “you don’t want to get a label for yourself” or “don’t sleep around” because of what society and my future husband will apparently think of me. The fact is, it is my body, and how dare you even attempt to try and tell me what I can do with the very vessel I carry around every day.

How dare you try and make me feel bad for expressing myself and choosing a path that you have not chosen. It is ridiculous that I should have to constantly question whether or not what I’m doing in the eyes of others is right or wrong.

Just because I am female it does not give you a right to dictate a certain way I should be behaving. Apparently women are considered sluts for sleeping around, disgusting for not shaving, and a bitch for having an opinion.  But then when a guy behaves in the same manner, he is praised and slapped on the back.

At the same time, looking at women like they are no more than a piece of meat is also disturbingly shit. I am not “frigid” or a “tease” because I don’t want to get off with you. Nor am I “loose” or a “slag” for getting off with you, My body is so much more than you make of it. It carries the scars of my growth. The battle wounds of my past. But most importantly it carries Me. `And you have absolutely no right whatsoever to past judgement on what I do with it.

Some inspiration from a good friend  blog

Waiting for Universities to answer my mating call

No seriously, sending my UCAS application off has been like asking the hot guy for his number on Facebook and waiting for a reply..which I have obviously never done because Im literally the biggest coward.

Im ready to be in a committed relationship with one of these establishments. Please stop playing hard to get with me guys. I promise I will work hard and be a good addition to your open partnership, Warwick is that you pal?

Checking my emails every five minutes has become my new hobby, does anyone else in this situation feel like adding “expert email checker” to their list of accomplishments. I would be a millionaire if I got a pound for every time I entered my gmail account and found nothing but Groupon deals and clothes from BooHoo.com from that one time I ordered something I could not afford.

I feel like I’ve become a bit of a stalker really. Ive already attempted to join  every fresher group for the universities I’ve applied for. As if that will somehow give me extra leverage. Like ” I will be partying with you for a whole two weeks so please  notice my dedication”.

Just please please please let me get what I want this time in the words of slow moving millie.

I want us both to be open to new experiences, so please universities, open your arms for me.

Stop being so awkward and..oh thanks for apologising

So I recently wrote a blog post about cowardly guys that have trouble with interacting with you after hitting it and quitting it (and giving the stuff back that you left at their house).

Well I would like to say that something of a miracle happened today, my very good buddy finally got the well deserved apology from the scrub that kept her gold hoop earrings.. and her virginity.

it only took a year though. A year for this grown man to finally come to his senses and realises that acting like a 13 year old was not the appropriate way to behave after being granted entrance into a women’s private area.

But even though the earrings were STILL not returned (perhaps he needs them for himself..) she is worth that at least.

Granted he apologised which is more than what most guys these days would have done, is this the start the evolution of the simple male mind?

you decide.

The Trouble With Overthinking

Im typing and in the back of my mind I am desperately trying to think of ways to be hilarious or meaningful in some way, so if you are reading this now Thankyou.

Thanks for taking the time out of your life to take a look at what might be happening in mine. Its late and I should go to bed, but being the expert overthinker I am, I figured it was time to write something partially relatable about it.

Overthinking is where your brain becomes hooked like a fish on bait onto a specific thought, concept , worry, illness..the list is endless. I could be sitting with a mug of tea in one breath and then believing that the world will end in another.

It is my brain’s way of punishment for all of this pent up anxiety, or that is my view anyway. Overthinker’s come in many forms shapes and sizes, but they all have one thing in common. Their minds are almost definitely working at a 100 miles per hour to figure out what you meant when you said “thats an interesting jacket you’ve got on today”.

I dont have any form of advice to give you to help with your overthinking because that would be like the blind leading the blind really, considering Im struggling to stay above water.

But here is something that may be helpful – Find an outlet, punch some pillows, go for a run or even have a netflix marathon to distract you from all of little worry critters that are currently eating away at your brain.

Stop looking for love and let it find you.

Deep in thought and I came to the realisation that no matter how much effort you put into trying to connect with a significant other and find “love” , it will never really take off because you are trying too hard, and thats not the way that life works.

Ive learnt this lesson after a series of misfortunate dates and mistakes over the short time I have been on this earth. Its hard when you are feeling lonely to not feel comfortable  and just be alone with yourself.

Being with someone is like a massive safety net, as long as its a decent net, you will expect to feel secure and sound. At the end of the day its something that we all look for, feeling safe. And we end up mistaking the illusion of a safety net for something real when in actual fact its just another long rabbit hole of a situation when we look too hard.

I think that some of us may use our bodies and not our brains to feel close to someone when desperately searching for that person that will make us feel happy, and this is the most tragic mistake of it all.

We should be able to lead with our minds not our bodies and realise that Love is not something to actively go out looking for, sure you should definitely keep an eye out but don’t let that process consume you entirely, you may mistake the fake opportunities for the real ones.

 

Please Just Dont

I really don’t understand why some people think its ok to touch your body or in some cases restrain you with unwanted sexual advances. Its actually really uncool and classifies as sexual assault.

At a party two weeks ago, I noticed this one lad trying his best to take advantage of some of the intoxication of a few girls by offering them hugs and then letting his hand roam free over their bum cheeks. Something they clearly did not consent to when they could barely consent to standing on their own two feet.

What goes through your mind when you decide its ok to invade someone’s personal space like that ? I genuinely would love to know why some scumbags think it is socially acceptable to just come up to you and touch parts of your body that they think they are entitled to when it is clear that you are in no fit state for that to happen.

I was at a nightclub with a few friends and was approached by this creep in the smoking area outside, I was not interested and politely declined his advancement to hold my hand, my no was somehow translated into a strong  “yes” as he refused to listen and kept hold of my hand and arm as I was trying to walk off.

At this point my friend noticed my plight and very kindly stepped in to reiterate the polite decline I had already issued, to which then he then became volatile and called us both “Arseholes”.

I don’t think he quite realised that the only thing filled with shit was himself.

The night progressed and as I was making my way through the crowd of sweaty humans and thumping music yet again I was prohibited from finding my friends much thanks a group of creeps this time who would not let go of my arm even though it was clear I was moving from point A to get to point B.

Just because you grab onto my arm or my body does not mean I am yours. This is not the pick and mix section in Woolworths.

The point is, just stop. And have a think about how you are making that person feel when you are freely giving yourself access to their body without asking for permission to do so first, also perhaps look up the word “No” in the dictionary and educate yourself on its meaning.

Don’t get me wrong it is perfectly acceptable to approach someone, but do it by using words and starting an actual verbal conversation instead of treating them like a bag you want to carry off. I am not a tesco 5p bag ok. I am a human being.

Life ? No Id rather spend all day in bed thanks

I visited a psychic a year ago, mainly out of sheer desperation to know the ins and out of my future, and also for the incredibly selfish reason as to whether I would be successful and rich..or not.

However gypsy rose on clacton pier gave me neither of those answers  and instead proceeded to tell me  ( whilst holding on to my sweaty palm) about the many short relationships I would encounter, Someone close to me being in hospital, and the fact that Im going to have two children in the distant future..which is pretty much standard for adults anyhow.

The point is..is that none of us really have any clue as to how the future is going to turn out, and we spend so much time dwelling on what could have happened/what is going to happen, that we actually miss the crazy stuff happening in the present.

It seems to be so easy to focus on the past or the future, that sometimes it becomes difficult to enjoy the now and appreciate The gift that is called the present ( yes I did just steal that from kung fu panda, no I have no shame) It can be tricky to enjoy that amazing slice of cake in the now..when most likely in a few short minutes,  whats on your mind is, that cake is most certainly going to be demolished.

But  in the midst of eating that cake, try to savour every bite and appreciate being able to taste it …a bit like life..try and savour every bit of the good stuff going on whilst your brain is busy cramming in all of the future and past crap, so you can enjoy being in the present a little more.