Ive decided to write about a something that has seemed to occur quite a few times in life and the lives of those around me . It has occurred when some “hanky panky” happens with one lucky lad….and maybe after that they feel a bit awkward, or they regret it happening and just decide to make the completely mature decision to block you out of their life infinitely.
The only issue is, they decide to make this wholehearted and frustrating decision AFTER you realise you left something of yours at their house or in their possession .
This can be an earring, some water-bottles, your favourite bra, an awesome sweatshirt, even an old tissue.
Frankly though It doesn’t really matter what it is actually, the fact remains that it is legally yours and therefore you are in the absolute right to hound them into giving it back to you.
I don’t care that youve made the stupid and cowardly decision to never speak to me again, Im actually just very passionate about that old pair of much loved socks that are suffering in your presence.
I may feel hurt that your childlike nature has prevented you from acting like a mature and sensible adult that can have a decent adult conversation about things in a Mature manner.
But please just give me my pack of tissues back. Behave like a little boy all you like but I know that I left my Earrings on top of your bedside table, and I’m sure as hell coming to retrieve them from your pathetic life.
So just know that when you are receiving lots of annoying text messages from your old “conquest” please don’t be so big-headed to think for one second that we are missing you- we are actually missing the shit that you’ve illegally kept.
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.